Watching someone you care about struggle with addiction can be devastating, especially when they refuse help. You might feel frustrated, helpless, or even angry—but it’s important to know that hope is not lost. While you can’t force someone into recovery, there are steps you can take to encourage them and protect their well-being as well as your own.
It can be challenging to know when someone’s substance use has crossed the line into addiction. Look out for these warning signs:
- Changes in behavior: Mood swings, irritability, or increased secrecy.
- Neglecting responsibilities: Missing work, skipping school, or neglecting household duties.
- Physical health issues: Sudden weight loss, poor hygiene, or frequent illness.
- Financial problems: Unexplained spending, borrowing money, or financial instability.
- Legal troubles: DUIs, arrests, or other legal issues related to substance use.
What You Can Do to Help Your Loved One
When someone refuses treatment, it’s natural to feel stuck. However, there are proactive steps you can take to encourage them to seek help:
- Educate yourself about addiction: Understanding that addiction is a disease, not a choice, allows you to approach your loved one with greater compassion. Educate yourself about substance use disorders to equip yourself with the knowledge needed to support them effectively.
- Consider an intervention: An intervention can be a powerful tool to motivate someone to seek help. It’s a structured conversation where family and friends express their concerns in a non-judgmental way. A trained interventionist can guide the process and ensure the conversation stays productive. Choose a time when your loved one is sober and everyone involved can stay calm and focused.
- Explore treatment options: If your loved one agrees to seek help, having a plan in place can make the transition smoother. Options may include medical detox to help manage withdrawal symptoms safely, residential treatment programs that provide a structured environment away from triggers, or outpatient treatment for those who need the flexibility to allow them to attend therapy while living at home.
- Set boundaries: Protecting your well-being is just as important as supporting your loved one. Setting clear boundaries can help both of you navigate this difficult time. You will want to be firm yet loving. Communicate clearly about what behaviors you will not tolerate, such as substance use in the home. Being consistent is key. Stick to the boundaries you set.
What Not to Do
While your intentions may be good, some actions can unintentionally enable addiction or push your loved one further away. Here are some things to avoid:
- Don’t Enable Their Behavior. Enabling can take many forms, from giving them money to covering up their mistakes. While it may feel like helping, it just prolongs the problem.
- Don’t Argue or Shame Them. Addiction thrives on shame and isolation. Avoid blaming or criticizing them for their addiction or arguing with them about their behavior.
- Don’t Neglect Your Own Needs. Caring for someone with an addiction can be emotionally exhausting. Make sure you seek support by joining a support group like Al-Anon. Be sure to take care of yourself and prioritize your mental and physical health.
Supporting Your Loved One Through Treatment
If your loved one agrees to treatment, your support can make a difference in their recovery journey. You will want to stay involved in their care plan by doing the following:
- Attend family therapy sessions: Many treatment centers offer family counseling to help heal relationships.
- Learn about aftercare: Help them transition from treatment to everyday life with ongoing support.
Additionally, it is important to encourage healthy habits. You can:
- Promote a sober lifestyle: Encourage activities that don’t involve substances, like exercise or hobbies.
- Celebrate milestones: Acknowledge their progress, no matter how small.
When They Still Refuse Help
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your loved one may still refuse treatment. While this is painful, there are steps you can take to protect yourself:
- Focus on what you can control: You can’t force recovery, but you can control how you respond.
- Keep the door open: Let them know that help is available when they’re ready.
- Take care of your health: Seek therapy or counseling for yourself to process your emotions.
At Las Cruces Recovery Center in Las Cruces, New Mexico, we understand how difficult it is to watch a loved one struggle. Our compassionate team is here to provide support, guidance, and treatment options tailored to their needs. Whether it’s detox or residential care, we’ll walk alongside you and your loved one every step of the way. If you’re ready to take the next step, please contact us today.
