(575) 825-7222 Las Cruces, NM
(575) 825-7222 Las Cruces, NM

What to Do When Your Loved One Enters Treatment

loved one in rehab, What to Do When Your Loved One Enters Treatment, Ways to Support Your Loved One While They’re In Treatment, Ways To Support Yourself While Your Loved One is in Treatment

The hard part is over: you’ve seen your loved one spiral down into addiction or undergo a relapse, you’ve convinced them to go to treatment, you’ve made all the arrangements, and you’ve probably packed their things and dropped them off at the admissions office. 

Now you’re home again, your loved one absent. What’s next? Can you just relax for the next 30 or more days, knowing your loved one is safe? What kind of support will be expected of you during this time? 

These are difficult questions, and the answers will depend on your specific situation at home, your own mental and emotional state, how far away your loved one’s treatment center is, and more. But let’s look at some tips for managing this time that are likely to apply across all situations. 

Ways to Support Your Loved One While They’re In Treatment

Most inpatient or residential treatment stays begin with what is called a “blackout period,” a stretch of 5 or so days when clients are not permitted contact with the outside world. This allows them to make a fresh start, eliminating any distractions that might pull them toward home. As a family member or partner of a client who is in a blackout period, you might feel relieved at the break from contact. You can, for perhaps the first time in a long time, focus on things other than your anxiety over or anger toward your loved one. 

Once the blackout period ends, and you are able to call or visit your loved one, there are several levels of support you might want to offer, if you feel drawn to do so:

Level 1 – Important, Mostly Non-negotiable

  • Respect the facility’s guidelines for contacting your loved one. Often, clients will have only very limited access to their phone. When you want to give them information or drop something off that they need, you’ll probably be asked to communicate through their primary counselor. Follow the rules for contact and visits. They are in place to protect both the client and family members.  
  • Attend any family educational or counseling sessions that the program offers. Not only will you learn valuable tips for navigating the complexities of addiction, but you’ll also get some guidance in dealing with your own fears and emotions. You’ll show your loved one that you are serious about supporting their treatment
  • If your loved one asks to come home early, resist. Talk with their counselor about how to encourage your loved one to stay in treatment.

Level 2 – Optional

  • Send a card or write a letter, and give the facility’s address to other people in your life who might also want to reach out to your loved one. Writing a letter can give you an opportunity to process your thoughts and feelings about how addiction has affected you, your family, and your relationship with your loved one. 
  • Text your loved one a brief word (or gif) to remind them that you love them and will be there when they return. It’s not uncommon for people who enter treatment to worry that their partners or spouses will abandon them. If you plan to be there for your loved one, remind them of this. 
  • Send a care package. Even though people in treatment are served nutritious meals, they don’t always have easy access to snacks and treats. You could send some comfort food, including prepackaged snacks, unopened packs of herbal tea bags, unopened packs of gum, etc.
  • Send a fresh journal or a book. Time in alcohol or drug rehab is structured, and the days are full of meetings, therapy, and education sessions. Even so, the restricted access to television and cell phones can leave a lot of downtime for residents. Writing and reading materials can help alleviate restlessness and boredom.

Ways To Support Yourself While Your Loved One is in Treatment

The gift of long-term treatment is that you, the family member, have a chance to rest and reset after what might have been months or years of stress and frustration. So even if you feel an extra burden of being the sole provider of childcare or income for the next 30+ days, focus on self-care, too. Here are some tips:

  • Ask for help. Enlist trusted family members and friends to help with childcare or pet care. While it can feel empowering to manage everything on your own, it can also contribute to resentment toward the person in treatment. It’s probably a better choice to give yourself a break. 
  • Talk about how you’re feeling. You can do this with a trusted friend, preferably someone who is good at listening and remaining objective, or with a mentor or therapist. You might also consider checking out an Al-Anon meeting, where people who are worried about someone with a drinking or drug use problem can share their stories and gain support. 
  • Write about how you’re feeling. You can do this in a private journal, or you can write letters to the person in treatment, as mentioned above. 
  • Reflect on what life was like before your loved one went to treatment, what’s different now that they’re temporarily gone, and what you want to change going forward. Make a list of what you need to feel safe if your loved one relapses again. This could include financial, physical, and emotional needs. 
  • If you have children, talk to a counselor about resources that can help them understand what is happening. Talk to them yourself as well: consider these tips.  

This is a strange time in your life. Remember this: you matter. Yes, your loved one is going through a hard time, and yes, they can use your support. But make yourself your priority right now. Do what you need to create time and space to decompress. Consider searching for a therapist so that you have long-term professional support now and after your loved one returns home.

If you have questions about how to support your loved one in our treatment programs at Las Cruces Recovery Center in New Mexico, contact us any time. We love to help families heal from the trauma of addiction.