When you begin your recovery journey, one of the most important steps you can take is finding support from people who have walked the same path. That’s where a sponsor comes in. Sponsors are a key part of 12-Step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA), and they can play a huge role in helping you stay grounded, accountable, and supported in your sobriety.
Recovery isn’t meant to be done alone. While treatment gives you the tools to build a healthier life, it’s ongoing connections—like the one you have with a sponsor—that keep you moving forward. If you’re looking for a sponsor, you may be wondering what a sponsor can do for you and how to find the right one.
What Is a Sponsor?
In AA, NA, and other 12-Step programs, a sponsor is someone who has been through the steps themselves and has maintained sobriety for a significant amount of time. They act as a guide, walking alongside you as you navigate your own recovery.
Think of a sponsor as a mentor—someone who understands what you’re going through because they’ve been there. They’re not a therapist or a substitute for professional treatment, but they offer wisdom and experience from a personal perspective.
A sponsor can:
- Guide you through the 12 steps. They’ve worked the program and can help you understand each of the twelve steps in a way that makes sense for your journey.
- Provide accountability. Having someone to check in with can help you stay committed to your goals.
- Offer encouragement. Sponsors remind you that recovery is possible, even on your hardest days.
- Share experience, strength, and hope. Their personal story can be a source of inspiration and reassurance.
Why a Sponsor Matters in Recovery
Recovery is about more than just stopping the use of drugs or alcohol. It is about creating a new way of living. That takes time, and there will be moments when cravings, stress, or old habits creep back in. Having a sponsor gives you someone you can lean on when you feel overwhelmed.
Your sponsor is someone you can call when you’re tempted to relapse, when you need advice, or when you simply need someone who understands.
Qualities to Look for in a Sponsor
Not every sponsor will be the right fit for you. It’s important to find someone you connect with and trust. Here are some qualities to look for:
- Experience. A strong sponsor has been in recovery for a significant amount of time and continues to actively work their program. Their personal experience allows them to understand your challenges and offer valuable insight.
- Availability and reliability. You need a sponsor who has the time, energy, and willingness to support you when you need guidance or encouragement.
- Honesty and accountability. The best sponsors will be truthful with you, even when it’s tough to hear. They’re willing to challenge you when necessary to help you grow.
- Respectful and nonjudgmental. Recovery is built on trust. A sponsor should create a safe space where you feel comfortable sharing openly without fear of judgment.
- Healthy boundaries. A good sponsor knows their role is to guide you, not control your recovery. They’ll offer support while respecting your boundaries.
- Positive example. Look for someone who embodies the principles of recovery in their daily life, inspiring you to do the same.
Do’s and Don’ts When Choosing a Sponsor
To make the process easier, here are some helpful guidelines:
Do:
- Choose someone with more sobriety time than you, ideally at least a year or more.
- Look for a sponsor who actively works the steps and participates in meetings.
- Pick someone you feel comfortable being honest with.
- Seek a sponsor who demonstrates stability, responsibility, and consistency in their life.
- Choose someone who inspires you and motivates you to stay in recovery.
Don’t:
- Don’t choose someone with less sober time than you—they may not have the experience to guide you.
- Don’t pick a sponsor solely because they’re your friend or you “get along.” Friendship is great, but sponsorship requires accountability and structure.
- Don’t choose someone of the opposite sex if it could lead to complications or distractions in the relationship.
- Don’t pick someone who tries to control you or crosses personal boundaries.
- Don’t feel pressured to stay with a sponsor who isn’t a good fit. You have the right to seek someone else.
Building a Relationship with Your Sponsor
Once you’ve found a sponsor, the relationship takes time and effort to grow. Here’s how to build it:
- Be honest. The more open you are, the more your sponsor can help you.
- Show commitment. Put effort into attending meetings, checking in, and doing the work.
- Respect their guidance. Even if you don’t agree with everything, be willing to consider their advice.
- Keep communication open. Sponsorship is about connection, not just crisis.
At Las Cruces Recovery Center, we believe in the power of community, connection, and shared experience. Whether it’s through treatment, peer support, or sponsorship, our New Mexico recovery center is here for you so you don’t have to walk this path alone. Contact us today to learn about our alumni program and discover how we can support your continued growth and healing.
